word she can use to tell you she's had enough.
Remind your child to "talk it out" when she feels angry or frustrated. When she
gets agitated, have her stop what she's doing and calm down. Take her to a quiet place if
necessary. Gently tell her that she must use words so that you can understand and help.
Reward her efforts to communicate by responding positively ("Oh, now I understand:
You want to use the swing! Let's go ask that girl's mother to help"). Your child
should learn that words get results, while biting or whining gets her nowhere.
Is biting normal at this age?
Yes, though you should help your child to stop as soon as possible. Children bite less
frequently as they grow older, but biting is common in situations where children are
thrown together such as daycare and play groups. Many young kids lack the verbal skills to
deal with conflict and their own strong emotions.
Why does my child bite?
Like a temper tantrum, biting is easy and gets instant results. And practically every kid
has seen someone else do it. But there are two other reasons that children of this age
bite.
The first is physical fear: Typically, a preschooler is in a fight and feels that she's
cornered or about to be hurt. If a bite occurs during a tussle with another child, make
sure your child understands that biting is unacceptable -- and so are hitting, punching,
and kicking. Take the opportunity to talk about how she might better respond in the future
if she feels threatened.
The second is frustration, anger, or other intense feelings. A major change, such as a new
baby in the family or a new home, can cause emotional upset that results in aggressive
behavior. Work with your child to learn why she bites, then address her needs, whether for
reassurance or ways to express her emotions.
Can my child's daycare provider or teacher help her stop
biting?
Yes. These adults are in a perfect position to observe your child's behavior and give you
tips on why she's biting. They can also work with all the kids on resolving conflicts
without becoming aggressive.
Schedule a meeting with your child's teacher or daycare provider. Ask how she deals with
children's disagreements. Does the program have an established approach to conflict
resolution? Is all aggressive behavior prohibited, whether it's biting, punching, or
constant teasing? Are children praised for good behavior, or is your child's biting the
only way she can get attention? Does the program director or teacher talk with the whole
group about topics such as sharing toys peacefully? A daycare center or preschool should
have firm rules on aggressive behavior and be making an ongoing effort to teach all of the
children how to resolve their differences amicably.
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