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The strength of our society lies in the strong family bonds that run through generations. Even as the concept of a nuclear family is gaining prominence in recent times as part of modernization of society, the values and advantages inherent in joint families do operate at different levels. More often than not, the elders in the family automatically become role models for the younger generation in the family. It is therefore important that elders, rather than children, employ a code of conduct, so that they set appropriate standards for their children to follow.

It is said that the home is the first place of learning, and mother the first teacher. With schools becoming more of commercial centers rather than places of learning, the onus is on the parents and elders to mould their children into responsible citizens is more than ever. And the best way to set an example is by being one. Children are keen observers, and able imitators! Their fresh minds absorb all inputs, good or bad, with great readiness. Discretion to sift the chaff from the grain comes only from the environment around them, and the habits ingrained in them by the family since childhood.

If you brush your teeth every night before going to bed, your child will do the same. No amount of toothpaste commercials on TV will inspire them to do so, unless you do so yourself. If you do not want your child to watch a particular movie, you should be prepared to forego it too. Arbitrary statements like ‘I can watch, but you cannot!’ will only give rise to confusion and conflict within the young mind. Elders often hide behind the statement ‘Do as I say, but don’t do as I do’. Not fair! As far as possible, be, as you would like your child to be. That is the only way you can convince the child about the wisdom of behaving in a certain manner.

Moulding your children to the standards desired by you is therefore entirely in your hands. Have simple dos and don’ts for them. Respect their views, wishes. Never ridicule, but convince. Give children ample room for creativity, make them feel important.

In recent times, there has been a proliferation of what are called anti-social elements in our society. Why have these youngsters become anti-social? It could be mostly because of their family background. Deep insecurity and lack of proper guidance at their formative stages are mostly the culprits. If they were taught to respect another person, preserve public property, take an active interest in and concentrate on the positive aspects of life, and develop a sense of self worth, they would probably be happier and constructive individuals. For various reasons these inputs were denied to them as children. As parents and elders, it is our duty to inculcate the right values in our children and nurture a generation of aware, responsible and happy achievers.

Now, why don’t you pick up that wet towel on the floor and put it out to dry? Your child is watching you!

               

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